“I’m just glad it’s over in many ways.
Spending those last months at her side, watching her deteriorate and in so much pain was the worst.
And to be helpless to do anything about it for her.
She’s free now. She was lucid to the end, which I’m very grateful for. And now she’s free.
I was really lucky to actually have the close relationships with my grandparents that I did. They all lived in my home town as I grew up and after my parents split up, they gave me a sense of foundation and a place to come home to, no matter how far away I was at college, etc..
I’m really glad we got her moved down here when we did.
And I’m really glad it was peaceful with Mom holding her hand.
All I can say is that in many ways, I feel very humbled and very grateful for the lessons a family can teach.
Many days there’s just a vacuum in my everyday existence.
But it’s far worse for Mom right now.”
That was a little over two years ago. Since then I’ve lost another grandparent. Now I’m down to one 90 year old grandmother of a matron I love so dear.
And I know it is my destiny, the destiny of all who live, to lose more loved ones in the future. Even that either my husband or I will lose the other first and endure that pain.
They say statistically our average age is now about 76 years. Two of my grandparents died of cancer at the age of 76. And now, I am 38 years old and nearing that looming age of 40.
It didn’t bother me to turn 30. But this – statistically half-way – I am not where I thought I’d be. Nor is the world.