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My Freaky Dreams….

Well, dreams are one of those categories that really are a part of the quirkiness in my life.  I don’t dream like most people.  They are vivid, full color and usually contain plots.  As in , I have received many great ideas for writing stories from dreams I’ve had.  Some great ideas for art too.  Except that I really cannot draw or paint.  I just wish I could hook a scanner up to my brain and download the vivid images that I have seen only in dreams.  They’d make great movie backdrops.

Generally though, my dreams are more about content than image.  They are consistently complex enough that my husband has demanded a household rule:  I cannot talk about anything I dream until he’s had his coffee in the morning. He says my dreams are too complicated and unusual to deal with first thing in the morning and my tendency is to upon waking to begin pouring forth whatever was in my brain during the night.   Seriously!  🙂

I’ve come to realize over the years that symbolism in dreams is much different for me than for most folks as well.  I think Freud understood that dreams sometimes hold a secret language for the processes of the brain and human psyche.  Perhaps even the subconscious trying to pass information on to the conscious.  However, I find that meaning and symbolism is often much different for a percentage of folks.

There are times that I know my dreams are simply processing information from the day or week.  Other times I know I am somehow striving to face my greatest fears.  Like the death of a loved one.  And still other times, it seems my dreams present new ways of looking at things.  Then there are all the great story flow ideas, as if my mind is telling me a story.  For the most part, I really don’t have nightmares.  Somehow at an early age I learned how to become aware within dream state when I felt afraid.  And I would call out to God and angels to help me if needed.  No matter what anyone might think, this skill has helped me immensely in life.

So last night was no exception to the strange dream escapade.  I was visiting Grandma Dorothy, which is something I’ve been thinking seriously about – trying to find a good time so I can spend some days with her.  And in my dream, Grandma Leona showed up just as I arrived.  I was hugging Grandma Dot when I became aware of Grandma Leo near us.  I wanted to turn and hug Grandma Leo because I love and miss her, but in that moment, I did not want to turn and acknowledge her.  I knew she wanted to hug Grandma Dot too.  They haven’t seen each other in years.  And I just did not want to let go at all.  I felt guilty, because I haven’t seen Grandma Leona in years either, and I wanted very much to turn and hug her and love and respect would dictate that I should let go and let her hug Grandma Dot.  But I pretended she wasn’t there and would not let go of Grandma Dot.

In the dream, though family was present, there was no actual awareness of the true state of things in the real world.  What makes this dream significant to me is that in reality my Grandma Leona died nearly 3 years ago of Lymphoma and today my Grandma Dot is still alive and fighting Lymphoma.   I leave you to guess what I feel is quite obvious about my feelings on this dream.

Grandma Dot has been in my dreams a lot lately.  This is actually unusual for me.  I seem to only dream about real people in my life around events.  So my feelings of need to see Grandma soon are now taking a more urgent tone.

So it’s time to call.

Categories: Random Thoughts
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